We all have bad days. Sometimes even weeks or months. Experiencing low mood is a natural part of life – after all, no one can be happy constantly. But how do you know if it’s more than that? The symptoms of depression are varied, but often they also include a strong sense of sadness or feeling ‘down’.

At times of intense stress, when we’re working too hard, concerned about the cost of living, facing a health issue or dealing with a toxic relationship, a feeling like this can seem overwhelming. The good news is that in most cases it should pass after a while, and there are even a few simple steps you can take to try to boost your happiness.

But what if your feelings persist over a long period, get steadily worse, or start having a negative impact on daily life? There’s a difference between experiencing low mood and symptoms of depression. Knowing what it is can help you get the right support.

1. Psychological Symptoms of Depression

Depression is an intensely personal illness, and people who experience it have a varying range of symptoms. Depression can manifest in many ways, but some psychological symptoms will almost always be a part of it.

The psychological symptoms of depression can include an influx of negative emotions, such as sadness, hopelessness, anxiety or guilt, or maybe low self-esteem. You may feel more irritable than usual, or unable to tolerate certain situations, people or behaviour. Other symptoms include difficulty in making decisions, feeling tearful, and losing interest in hobbies or activities you used to enjoy. This can sometimes be accompanied by reducing social contact – even with close friends and family – or neglecting parts of everyday life that suddenly feel stressful or upsetting.

If you’re experiencing severe depression, your symptoms could include hallucinations, confusion, delusions or disturbed thoughts. Some people also have extreme anxiety, suicidal thoughts or thoughts of self-harming. If you experience any of these, it’s vital you get help immediately, such as by contacting a helpline or talking to someone you trust.

2. Physical Symptoms of Depression

Depression can also affect our physical health, and there are several warning signs to watch out for. Symptoms of depression that manifest in the body can include lethargy or lack of energy, making it feel difficult to carry out normal tasks, and perhaps even a noticeable slowness of speech or movement. Some people may experience aches and pains that are seemingly unconnected to any existing injury or illness. Your sex drive may also be affected – many people experiencing depression report a loss of libido.

Other physical changes you may become aware of include loss of weight or appetite – though sometimes depression can prompt us to eat more. Symptoms of depression in women sometimes include fluctuations in their menstrual cycle. And for many people, insomnia or other changes to their regular sleep pattern, such as finding it hard to fall asleep or get out of bed in the morning, are a sign that all is not entirely well with their mental health.

Having trouble falling asleep is a symptom commonly associated with low mood as well, but it will usually get better if the stress you’re under comes to an end or you manage to solve a problem that’s been bothering you. If insomnia – or any of these symptoms – persist or get consistently worse, it may be time to seek medical assistance.

When and How to Get Help

It’s important to remember that everyone will have a very different experience of depression. You may feel several or only a few of these symptoms; they may come and go or seem to shift over time. Most often, depression develops slowly, so you may not even notice it particularly until its impact becomes too large to ignore. That said, some symptoms of depression are the same as those of low mood, so it’s important, if you can, to be aware of their intensity and frequency. You may find it helpful to keep track by using a journal – in the AIME app, you’ll find some templates to get you started.

Remember, only you can know what’s going on inside – how you’re really feeling, and how those feelings might have changed. It’s important not to judge these emotions or try to compare them to what other people might be experiencing. If you feel you need help for depression (or any other reason), you absolutely can and should seek it.

Experts often suggest that if you notice symptoms of depression, like those mentioned above, for most of every day over a period of two weeks or longer, you should make an appointment with your doctor to discuss it.

There’s also a range of helplines available, including those that offer urgent support if you’re going through a crisis or having suicidal thoughts. In the UK, anyone can contact the Samaritans on 116 123.

Especially in these cases, but also if your symptoms are mild, don’t be afraid to ask for help from several places. Doctors and counsellors can assist you professionally, but turning to friends and family can give you additional support in a day-to-day context. You may also like to use online resources, like AIME, to help you manage your symptoms in the way that suits you best.

How to Manage Symptoms of Depression?

Just as people experience depression in vastly different ways, there are many ways to manage its symptoms. Lifestyle changes can be greatly beneficial, but some people may be prescribed medication, join a support group or undergo therapy – like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) – to help them.

If you are suffering symptoms of depression, it’s important to speak to a doctor or psychotherapist in the first instance. But alongside this, remember that AIME is always here to help you. As well as introductions to different forms of therapy and in-depth resources that can help you understand depression and anxiety, AIME has a number of interactive worksheets focused on thinking traps, affirming your worth, writing a self-care checklist, and much more. Journaling to boost mental resilience or observe your emotional health can also be beneficial, as can some mindfulness practices like meditation or breath-work.

Whatever you’re experiencing and whatever you feel you need, remember: you aren’t alone in this. You have plenty of support around you, and that will always include AIME.

Relationships play a hugely important role in our lives. We humans are social beings, and the way we interact with others has a significant impact on our mental health and overall wellbeing. The chance to be in a supportive, loving relationship is something we all deserve, and studies have shown that those of us with strong social connections tend to live happier, longer, even healthier lives.

A relationship doesn’t have to be a romantic one with a partner, though these understandably take a central place in many of our lives. Positive, healthy relationships can come in many forms – the ones we have with our parents or children, siblings, grandparents, colleagues, friends. Each of these has its own value, but some will naturally be stronger than others. And, no matter how positive they seem, every relationship takes work. So, what is it you should be aiming for? What are the key ingredients of a healthy bond?

1. The Characteristics of a Healthy Relationship

There’s no one definition of a healthy relationship. However, psychologists and relationship experts broadly agree on a few key characteristics that are essential to forming a positive, lasting bond. They include:

• Honest, effective communication
• Kindness and affection
• Maintaining personal identity and happiness
• Shared values
• Communicating and respecting boundaries
• Mutual support
• Trust and commitment
• Humour
• The ability to compromise

Many of them will seem quite obvious, but often – depending on our personal situation – one or more of these elements can end up taking a back seat. While they don’t need overthinking, it’s good to be mindful of what makes a positive relationship. Now and again you might feel the need to take a step back, analyse and reset.

2. Build Relationships on Effective Communication

Perhaps the most fundamental element in creating healthy relationships is effective communication. Particularly when it comes to our romantic partners, open and honest communication is vital, but at times it can be surprisingly hard to maintain this channel. It’s important to remember that as much as we may feel we know another person, none of us can be expected to know what’s going on in their head. Nor can they know what’s going on in ours.

Effective communication means being clear and honest about our feelings, and willing to share our needs, thoughts and fears. It also means listening carefully to the other person as they tell us these things. Establishing an effective basis for communication allows us to add other ingredients to our relationships, like humour, compromise and discussion of shared values. It helps us show support to the other person, particularly if they’re going through a hard time. And it’s tied to the incredibly important need to set and respect boundaries, which leads into the next key element.

3. Maintain Your Identity Within a Relationship

Healthy relationships rely on two people working together to create a partnership. But in order to do this effectively, it’s crucial that each one maintains a strong sense of self. When we talk about toxic relationships, jealousy, possessiveness and other controlling behaviours are warning signs to watch out for. In healthy relationships, the opposite is true: each person should be able to maintain their own beliefs, hobbies, friendships and values without encroaching on the other person’s or feeling the need to change.

In fact, experts suggest that taking time out from our relationships – particularly romantic partnerships – can help make them stronger and healthier. Spending even just an hour on a favourite hobby, or taking an evening to practise self-care, helps us to reset, retain our sense of individuality, and give ourselves the space we need to grow as a person. It’s vital to remember that while good relationships can bring us great joy, they can never be solely responsible for our happiness. The convention of calling spouses or life partners our ‘other half’ is misleading. Each of us is a whole person in our own right, and a healthy relationship consists of two wholes, not two halves.

4. Relationships Need Respect and Affection

Because of this, one more ingredient is vital for a healthy and lasting relationship: mutual respect. If you know who you are as a person and can communicate that effectively, you’ll give other people a chance to show you respect. And, in turn, you can show it to them. A healthy relationship isn’t about seeing eye-to-eye on everything, but understanding someone else’s feelings and beliefs; not judging them, but respecting their thoughts and decisions.

As well as respect, good relationships require characteristics like loyalty, trust, kindness and affection. Kindness can take many forms, from listening fully to one another and helping actively with problems, to small and seemingly random acts, like making a cup of tea or paying a compliment. Not only do things like this help deepen and strengthen relationships, but studies have shown that acts of kindness can have a positive impact on our own mental wellbeing. And, as we’ve just seen, boosting personal happiness is another way to make our relationships healthier. A win-win situation.

The Recipe for Healthy Relationships

Of course, we know there are many more ingredients that go into a good relationship. It can feel hard to balance all these aspects successfully, but it’s important to remember there’s always a degree of give and take. In any relationship, one person will sometimes need more support than the other. That’s OK. External circumstances and our own state of wellbeing will naturally impact our relationships, but healthy ones are there to help us weather these storms.

There are plenty of things you can do, either individually or with another person, to make sure your relationships are healthy and positive. In the AIME app you’ll find a range of resources, from a guided journey on how to grow as a couple, to worksheets for monitoring romantic relationships and, more generally, relationships and communication. And because good communication is such a key element of a healthy relationship, AIME can also help you with a guided journey on how to communicate effectively.

Finally, a small but positive habit for building healthy relationships is to practise gratitude – daily, if you can. Nobody is perfect, and no relationship ever will be either. Recognising and accepting this is the very best place to start.

Happiness. It’s something we all aspire to. But when was the last time you told someone you were happy – and meant it? Can you define what happiness is for you, and how to stay happy when you get there? If these questions seem hard to answer, you aren’t alone. Despite its popularity in our social media feeds, our understanding of true happiness has become somewhat hazy.

Thanks to our always-on, increasingly digital world, happiness can seem permanently just around the corner. Something others have, but we don’t … yet. Our feeds are stuffed with advice on how to be happy. Meditate. Get a new job. Have kids. Don’t have kids. Take a holiday. Treat yourself to something you’ve been saving for. But when we make these decisions or achieve our goals, too often we find we still aren’t there. Happiness is a target that seems to move each time we approach, tantalisingly close but always just out of reach.

1. Understand What Happiness Isn’t

It may sound counterintuitive, but a key part of learning how to be happy is to understand what happiness isn’t. And that’s the very thing it’s so often portrayed as: a goal or destination. An enduring state we’ll all reach one day, if only we make the right decisions. Permanent happiness is actually impossible – no matter what their social media says, no one is happy all the time.

As humans, we simply haven’t evolved to feel this way. In fact, we have a bit of a negative bias: loss, failure and sadness can have a greater impact and seem longer lasting than simple satisfaction or a sense of pride in an achievement. It’s why bad news sells better than good news, and several positive reviews are needed to outweigh one bad one.

2. See Happiness as Layers That Contribute to Your Well-being

While our brains are quite receptive to negative thoughts and feelings, positive ones can be trickier. Happiness is often seen as the end of a string of goals: the big thing we’ll achieve when we’ve ticked off everything on our wishlists. And although happiness can be understood as a series of levels, they’re not like the ones in a video game. These levels aren’t ones we progress through, but different layers that contribute together to our overall well-being.

1st Layer: The Pleasant Life

Scientists working in the field of positive psychology have identified three distinct levels, or paths, that make up human happiness. The first is the ‘pleasant life’, which tends to be what we focus on when we think about feeling happy. It includes satisfying physical needs (such as food, comfort, sex) and other things that make us feel immediately good (like buying a new dress or watching a funny film).

2nd Layer: The Good Life

The next level is the ‘good life’, which involves doing things we’re passionate about and skilled at. If we recognise and regularly use our personal strengths and core values in hobbies, activities and interactions with other people, we can boost our creativity and self-esteem. This generates happiness on a deeper level.

3rd Layer: The Meaningful Life

The final one is the ‘meaningful life’, which is about using our skills and passions to benefit not just ourselves but also others. This might be contributing to a local community, protecting the planet or being part of a belief system. Helping other people and belonging to something bigger than ourselves gives us an enduring sense of purpose and fulfilment.

3. Don’t Confuse Pleasure With Happiness

Framing happiness in this way can help us think about how to feel happy in everyday life. Often, the things we aim for – a dream holiday, owning a home, a well-paid job, even a delicious meal – will bring us pleasure, but of a kind that’s short-lived. That’s not to say we shouldn’t aspire to these things at all. There’s nothing wrong with feeling joy or excitement. But they aren’t true happiness, which comes from a stronger focus on personal fulfilment and connection to others.

Unlike what the media tells us, happiness is not a destination or a goal to strive for. Instead, it’s a practice – like a skill or muscle that you can train to become stronger. Just like when you learn a language or take up a new sport, it isn’t something you’ll be great at every day, and maybe sometimes you won’t feel like doing it at all. That’s OK. We all need a break now and then. By accepting negative emotions and not thinking of happiness as something you must achieve, you’ll take the pressure off – and this, ultimately, can improve your well-being.

4. Practice Happiness

A lot of how we practise happiness is extremely individual. Because it’s so closely linked to our passions, strengths and personal connections, it’s impossible to write a universal recipe for how to be happy. However, there are a few simple things you can do in your everyday life that have proved to impact positively on how we measure our contentment levels. And this is where AIME can help.

Practice Gratitude

Practising gratitude can be a good place to start: at the beginning or end of each day (or both), write down three things you’re grateful for. Big or small – everything has value. If you’d like to take this further, you could also try journaling. Finding just 15 minutes a day to write a personal diary of your thoughts and feelings can help you to see not only the positive ones, but also become more aware and accepting of the negative.

Look Inside Yourself

Looking inside yourself is a good way to learn what makes you feel happy and fulfilled. You might like to try our guided journal on core values and qualities, so you can integrate these more into your everyday life and routines. And because helping and connecting to others leads us on to the path of a ‘meaningful life’, AIME can also guide you through techniques to overcome social anxiety, communicate effectively and grow as a couple.

However you choose to begin, remember: happiness is a practice, not a goal. It’s highly individual, but something we share with others. And AIME will always be here to help you strengthen your skills.

Some of us shine in the spotlight. Some of us can think of nothing worse. The world is full of extroverts and introverts. Show offs and the shy and retiring. But if you’re finding that you dread or avoid social situations because they make you feel uncomfortable, there could be something else going on. Social Anxiety – or as it’s sometimes called, Social Phobia.

What Are The Symptoms of Social Anxiety or Social Phobia?

Some estimates say about 12% of us have this condition. That’s the best part of a billion people globally. Imagine that. Symptoms can range from blushing, sweating and stammering to feeling shaky, sick or full-blown panic. You might feel self-conscious, concerned you’re being judged or afraid you might embarrass yourself in some way.

What Can Trigger Social Anxiety?

These feelings can be triggered by all kinds of interactions, be it at school, at work or out with friends. Sometimes the very thought of having to meet someone new or deal with an unfamiliar situation is enough. In the moment, you might find it tough to relax because you become hyper vigilant.  Afterwards, you might find yourself playing things back in your mind and become overly self-critical. Sound familiar?

As with all mental health issues, everyone may experience some of these symptoms from time to time. We’re all human. But we’re all different too. And because we’re all different, we all feel and experience things in different ways and to varying degrees of intensity. This doesn’t make you wrong. This doesn’t make you weird. It probably means you have a genuine mental health condition. It means you need help. If it stands in the way of living your everyday life, it’s certainly the case.

The good news is that there’s all kinds of help at hand.

How to Deal With Social Anxiety?

CBT – Cognitive Behavioural Therapy – is usually the first stop on your journey. This could involve becoming more mindful of the negative thoughts that bubble up when you’re triggered. You know, the ones that start ‘People will think…’, ‘…I’m stupid’; ‘…I’m boring’; ‘…I’m a freak’. Challenging these thoughts, engaging with them, will help you to question them. It will make you more aware when you slip into self-defeating behaviours like ‘catastrophising’ and ‘mind-reading’.

2. Awareness

Awareness can be a powerful tool. If you learn to focus your attention on others and be ‘in the moment’, in time, this will help you feel less self-conscious. Listening to what’s going on will take your focus away from your anxieties and empower you to engage.

3. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is another approach you might find beneficial. This involves noticing and accepting the negative feelings which rise up in you and shifting your perspective. Don’t fight it. Don’t feel it. Accept it.

4. Make Lifestyle Changes

There are changes you can make to your lifestyle too. Getting active and joining a gym. Cutting out stimulants like caffeine and nicotine. Improving diet and sleep patterns. All of these things can help reduce all-round anxiety levels.

5. Reach Out

The important thing is to reach out. Don’t be on your own. As our community builds, you can plug into advice from people who’ve been there. You can also post your own lived experience. This is incredibly valuable – all the more so when you share it.

We’ll be with you all the way. Don’t make yourself wrong – find the right help. Ask AIME. Be part of our community. Together, we can all know better.

If you suffer from social anxiety – a fear or dread of social situations – then starting university might feel like the worst thing that’s ever happened to you. Likely, Fresher’s Week, the idea that everyone is meeting the best friends they’ll ever have might be your own personal hell if you’re anxious about what others may think of you, worried you’ll say the wrong thing or do something embarrassing.

If that’s you then it’s perfectly normal. Ninety percent of the people you meet will likely be feeling the same. A 2022 survey revealed how nine out of 10 UK students said they struggled with feelings of anxiety. Here’s AIME’s advice on how to navigate this potentially stressful time.

Imagine the scene. You’ve steeled yourself to attend the welcome drinks in your halls of residence. You walk into a room full of people, some that appear to be the life and soul, others stumbling through stilted conversations drinking (probably) warm white wine. You look around the room, your brain is racing telling you that these people here before you are all future entrepreneurs, professional successes, industry captains, artists, creatives – highly successful people and then there’s you, little old you. Your eyes take in a girl with achingly cool clothes, a boy you can instantly see is the ‘popular’ one and you want to press yourself against the wall and pretend you’re invisible, because why on earth would these people be interested in you?

STOP!

1. Stop Projecting

You’re projecting.  You’re making assumptions on what people think, rather than what they are actually saying. You’re allowing yourself to withdraw, because it’s easier – safer – that way. But right there in that room are conversations to be had that will create comfort. Connections to be made, common interests to be established. Maybe there’s someone who likes to run like you do, someone you can group up with on GTA, someone who’s starting a reading group – whatever it is, that room offers you connection. And the likelihood is, they’re all feeling the same as you; overwhelmed, under pressure and anxious to make friends, to find their tribe. And the thing is, they’re not going to accomplish it alone with their thoughts. Alright, your best friends may not be in that room but that doesn’t mean to say it’s not worth your effort to smooth the ride in.

What can you do to make it easier? Breathe. Focus – not on your inner negative self-talk but on the person in front of you. Compliment them on something they’re wearing. It’s ok to be honest, to tell people you’re nervous. Listen to their response.

2. Remember What Life Looks Like On Social Media Isn’t Real

Maybe later you go back to your room and look up their social media handles. They might not chime with the person you met in that room. On social media you’re connecting with a story, an ideal. But in that room you engaged with this world, the real world and that’s something to be proud of. And you won’t be the only one. A new wave of social media apps are encouraging us to connect more authentically, freeing us from the damaging psychological effects of filters and staged reality. BeReal asks you to capture and share a photo within two minutes at a set time of day – showing life, your life, as it is in that moment. Maybe some of the people in that room are on it? You could navigate Freshers Week together, warts and all.

3. Own Your Choices And Seek Support

Remember that you made the choice to be there at your university and by owning our choices we can find great empowerment – and opportunity. Seek out the support you need; universities are all over pastoral care now with support services designed to nurture the mental health of their students be it counsellors, trained therapists, CBT classes, meditation and yoga groups. It’s all there for you to access

We all worry about how we look. At some time or another, even the most confident and self-assured give in to insecurities and doubt. I’m to ‘this’ or not enough ‘that’. And in a world filled with air-brushed supermodels and image-obsessed Kardashians, how can we not? The modern world is a minefield of unrealistic glossy magazine expectation and out-and-out social media trolling. For those of us with Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) these are tough times.

Fortunately, if you’re one of the estimated 3% of us that live with this condition, you’re not alone. AIME is here to put you in the picture and give you the support you need.

One of the great things about human beings is that we’re all different. Each of us is unique. You are unique. Special. An endless combination of variables. Physical and mental. Experience and emotions. The products of gene pools that have evolved over time. It’s easy to forget this. Particularly if you’re focusing your attention on an aspect of your appearance or a part of your body and judging yourself harshly for it.

How do You Know You Are Suffering From Body Dysmorphia?

Too much time spent on thinking about how you look; comparing yourself unfavourably with others; and developing unhealthy eating habits or obsessive grooming habits; these are the warning signs. If you’re avoiding social contact, have low moods and seek constant reassurance, it’s definitely time to seek help.

What Can Cause Body Dysmorphia?

The reasons for these feelings are many and varied. Body Dysmorphia is an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. As such, it can arise from a range of factors, most likely working in combination. These range from the genetic and biological, such as chemical imbalances in your brain, to a host of external factors, be they developmental, social or cultural.

If we were aliens and relied solely on advertising and media images to understand what human beings looked like, we’d expect a master race of Adonises and Glamazons. This, as you know, is not the case. The lie of perfection is sold to us with alarming frequency. So much so, it can become difficult to resist. Our peers and social media are sometimes not helpful either. The bullying and trolling which come with this territory can be hurtful and damaging. Add to this the traumas of abuse and neglect and all the seeds are there. Ready to be sown.

Uprooting the problem, however, is within your grasp and AIME is here to hold your hand as you do so.

How Can AIME Help You Cope With Body Dysmorphia?

As our online community grows, you’ll be able to count on support. This can be amongst the most valuable resources available. Sharing your own experience and learning from others can be hugely inspiring and motivating. In safe spaces, you can be yourself and, most importantly, understand that you are not alone.

Therapeutic Approaches to Help You Cope With Body Dysmorphia

There are also many other ways to change your mindset. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) are both powerful tools. You can read about these in our blog about Social Anxiety which you may also find useful. But, basically, these will empower you to identify your behaviours and equip you with the means to address and change them.

Both of these therapeutic approaches would benefit from your own practice. Mindfulness and Values Based Living are key philosophies to think about here. Realising the power of living in the present moment, without judgement, and listening to your own values system will give you the solid foundations on which you need to build your recovery.

 

Don’t be Afraid to Reach Out

As with all things mental health-related, the important thing to do is reach out. Understand you are never alone. Nothing is impossible to overcome and everything you are is valuable. Sharing it here could be the first step on your journey. And AIME will be with you all the way.

Your energy bills, the weekly shop, filling up the car… the cost of just about everything in the UK is soaring. With inflation at its highest level since 1982 – and more predicted to come – it’s no wonder that more than three quarters of adults feel “very or somewhat worried about the rising costs of living”.

If you’re one of that 77%, what can you do? And how do you know when “very or somewhat worried” (let’s face it, a rational reaction to the current crisis) has tipped over into something more serious and you’re struggling with ongoing stress. It seems that many people are at risk; 50% of those who reported being “very worried” in the government survey also said that they “felt those worries nearly every day.” It’s that kind of regularity that should concern you.

What is Stress And Why is it Harmful?

So, let’s look at what stress actually is and why it’s so harmful. When you feel stressed, it’s your body’s reaction to a fearful situation, a release of adrenaline and cortisol. It does that to alert you, like an alarm going off, so you’re ready and able to run or fight. In short bursts, a little stress is no real threat to your health. But, when your body continues to pump those hormones out, day after day, it’s a different story. Feeling stressed all the time can lead to serious health conditions, such as heart disease, high blood pressure, depression and anxiety.

What Are The Symptoms of Stress?

How do you know it’s stress? We don’t all react the same way, but signs of stress include cognitive, physical and behavioural symptoms. For example, finding it more difficult to remember stuff, to concentrate or make decisions, having stomach aches, feeling sick, dizziness, headaches, muscle aches and chest pain. Are you sleeping more, not eating enough, or drinking too much? Do you get angry easily? Changes to your normal behaviour can be signs of stress too.

What Can Cause Stress?

Often stress is caused by a feeling of not being in control. Whether it’s debt stress or more generalised stress from money worries, thinking that there’s nothing you can do is likely to be a factor here. After all, few of us can simply magic up more cash, lower prices, or make debts disappear. The good news is, there are ways to get back in control. One of the most helpful things you can do to manage financial stress is to focus on what you can change, not on what you can’t.

There are two parts to this: managing your finances and managing your feelings.

How Can You Manage Your Finances?

AIME can’t give you financial advice, but there are many professionals out there who can find you a better mortgage or cheaper life insurance, for example. You can find a qualified independent financial advisor near you on unbiased.co.uk.

Check out the numerous comparison websites too, that can help you find everything from this week’s best supermarket offers to the lowest loan rates. Consumer champion, Martin Lewis has plenty of good advice, as well as links to deals, on his popular moneysavingexpert website.

Taking some time to fully review your finances is positive action that will help you feel more in control.

If you’re stressing over money because you’ve lost your job, there’s more help available. Citizens Advice has lots of information on the benefits you’re entitled to if you’ve been made redundant, as well as how to deal with debt and who to speak to if you’re at risk of losing your home. Also take a look at gov.uk for help with benefits, training and looking for a new job.

If you are struggling to afford food or can’t pay your bills, make sure you’re claiming the benefits you’re entitled to. Seek out your local food bank or food rescue hub. Talk to your energy supplier, as they should have a scheme for people who are struggling to pay their bills; Ofgem has more information about this. The government website moneyhelper also has a tool that can help you prioritise your bills, with steps to make payments more manageable.

However difficult your financial situation is, you’re not alone. The most important thing is to reach out and find help.

How Can You Manage Your Feelings

Taking positive practical measures will help you feel more in control, but there are other ways to help you cope with stress too.

Talking about your financial stress can help you manage it. This can be with a trusted friend or family member, or a professional therapist. It may seem pointless, but simply talking through problems can actually change the way you think and feel about them, and so lessen the physical and psychological effects.

1. Try CBT

There’s a proven approach in psychotherapy called CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy).  CBT helps you understand how your emotions work and gives you the tools to take ‘emotional responsibility’ in your life. Emotional responsibility means understanding that you can’t always control what happens to you, but you can always choose how you respond to it. Imagine you’re made redundant – that’s a decision you can’t control. On hearing the news, one choice could be to get drunk. Another choice could be to update your CV.  How you react to a challenging situation is not determined by the situation itself; it’s up to you. In other words, you can help yourself feel more positive.

2. Stay Active

It’s also important to stay as active as you can. Any kind of physical exercise will lift your mood; it has even been shown to help people manage depression. Staying socially active, connecting often with friends and family, will make a difference too. But try to avoid socialising that involves drinking too much alcohol, as that can worsen your stress.

3. Take Advantage of The Help Available

The cost of living crisis is likely to affect all of us in some way over the coming months and years. If you’re struggling with stress from it all, please remember that there’s lots of help available, including the AIME app. Find out how AIME can help you manage your financial stress. 

Exam result anxiety is something that hits every single August, with anxious youngsters all across the country experiencing similar fears.

This is a really challenging time in life for anyone; the first time that your next move is no longer determined completely for you, but by you. You’re making potentially life-defining decisions, moving on from secondary school and towards independent adulthood. When what comes next depends on your results, it must seem as if your whole future is in the balance.

Will you get into your first choice university or make it onto that college course? Will you be able to take that gap year you promised yourself and see the world? Is your career choice still an option? Might you have to re-sit some of your exams? It’s no wonder that stress and anxiety are common emotions in the days and weeks coming up to exam results.

What is anxiety?

Anxiety is a feeling of being gripped by panic or fear. Fear is normal in a stressful situation. Think of it as an alarm system that goes off to alert you when something’s amiss; waking you up to the fact that you need to act and focusing your mind and body so that you’re able to. There’s a lion! Run!

Being anxious about exam results is only human. But it’s not pleasant. And it can be debilitating if it carries on for too long or begins to affect other aspects of your life. The good news is: you don’t have to suffer with anxiety. However you feel, whatever you’re most worried about, you can overcome all your fears, using a well-established psychotherapy approach called Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).

What are you afraid of?

The first thing to consider is what it is that you’re actually scared of. It probably boils down to ‘failure’. Whether that’s failing to get the grades you need or are hoping for – or failing your exams altogether. But it helps to expand on that: what would “failure” mean for you?

Are you thinking that not getting the grades would be the worst possible thing that could ever happen? Are you worrying about how you would cope? Are you scared about how your parents will react and how you’ll face them? Do you think you might have to start all over again from scratch? All that extra studying and re-sits, plus you’ll fall behind everyone else your age?

It might be that you need certain grades to get into the university you desperately want to go to. Perhaps you’ve been told by your parents or teachers that it’s ‘the only one’ if you want to succeed in a particular area.  You might be thinking that if you fail it proves what you’ve always thought of yourself: that you’re useless or stupid.

You may be facing all kinds of different fears in the run up to getting your exam results. And you can deal with all of them with the help of CBT. A proven approach, used by psychotherapists, CBT is based on the thinking that it’s our beliefs that shape our emotional experience.

Your AIME app can guide you through CBT techniques, helping you manage your exam results anxiety. This innovative app offers free advice, on all aspects of your emotional wellbeing, straight to your mobile phone. All advice and tools are based on proven science and personalised to you. Find out more about AIME.

How Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) works

CBT helps you understand how your emotions work and gives you the tools to take “emotional responsibility” in your life. By emotional responsibility, we mean understanding that you can’t always control what happens to you, but you can always choose how you respond to it. Take the Covid-19 pandemic as an example. The virus itself, and the measures taken to protect people from it, are events that are out of your control. Lockdown and social distancing has meant not being able to spend time with your friends, which can’t be easy. One choice could be to sulk in your room. Another choice to enjoy more quality time with your family instead. Which would make you happier?

That emotional responsibility is the route to mental wellbeing is not a new idea; it’s a belief that’s been around for centuries. But, in our modern lives, we tend to have a much more reactive mindset. We emphasise the external causes of our emotions, such as how other people ‘make us feel’ or what happens to us. This cause-and-effect approach may seem logical, but people rarely react the same way to the same cause. Imagine if half the students in your school failed their A-Levels. How would they all feel? It depends on the student, of course. One might think “well, I didn’t work hard enough” and shrug it off; another might feel furious at the “unfair marking”; another student might become depressed; another one might feel relieved they don’t have to go to university to please their parents. How you react to a challenging situation is not determined by the situation itself; it’s up to you.

A scientific approach

When it comes to discussing how we think and feel, it’s hard to see where science comes in. But CBT is very much a proven scientific approach. As with all science, ‘proven’ means using evidence to show that a hypothesis is true. If there’s not enough evidence for a theory, it needs to be discounted. This evidence method is a tried and tested approach that’s ideal for addressing your fears too, and is basically how CBT works. Let’s try it with a few common anxieties around exam results.

Assessing your exam result fears

Having to retake my exams would be the worst thing ever.

No one wants to re-sit exams. But is it really the worst thing? Surely you can’t think of something that might be more catastrophic? It’s helpful to think longer term too. Five years from now, will this still be an issue for you? In the grand scheme of your life, it’s unlikely that retaking an exam or two will make a difference to your success or happiness. However big a deal it seems now, you know you will get through it and move on.

My parents will be so angry and I can’t handle that.

Why do you think they’ll react with anger? Is that the most likely response to their child being disappointed by their exam results? Is it possible your parents might be supportive, upset, sad, ambivalent, or something else instead? You can’t know for sure how they’ll feel about this completely new situation. And even if they are all-out furious with you, you can deal with it. It won’t be easy, but the moment will pass and – whatever you believe – your parent’s anger can’t kill you. Again, thinking forward, are they still going to be mad at you in five years’ time?

Not getting into my first choice university will ruin my life.

How do you know for sure that your first choice university is the best place for you? It could be the worst option. A key thing that CBT teaches is: you can’t see into the future. You may be happy and successful at ‘the best’ uni or thoroughly miserable and drop out in your first year. If you don’t get in, you’ll never know anyway. It’s possible you’ll have a much better time somewhere else and even go on to be more successful. You could discover a hobby that leads to a career you never thought of, or make a friend for life that you wouldn’t have met at your first choice uni. Who knows where it could lead?

Getting poor grades will just prove how useless I am

This is an example of using one event to generalise about yourself: I didn’t do well at this, so I can’t do well at anything. Which clearly can’t be true. At your age, it’s understandable that you might believe getting high grades is everything, as your whole life until now has been focused on doing well at school, and getting into the ‘right’ university. But is it really the be-all and end-all? Do exam grades define a person? Would you judge someone purely on their A-Level or GCSE results? In CBT, judging yourself in this sweeping way is called “self-damning”.

What you can do – 4 CBT tools that will help you today

1. Take a step back

Anxiety will lead you to think in a particular way. Typically, when you’re anxious you’ll overestimate the probability of your worst fears being realised, underestimate your ability to cope, and even dream up bigger, scarier dangers. It’s worth taking a step back to check if you’ve been doing any of those things, so you can be more objective about how and why you’re feeling anxious.

2. Assess the evidence

Take time to examine your beliefs about your grades and your future. Assess the evidence to see if your fears are real. Looking at the evidence helps you put everything into perspective.

3. Ditch the rigid thinking

In any stressful situation, your rigid beliefs kick in and that’s what causes emotional conflict. When you’re certain of what must or must not happen, and how your life ‘should’ be, it’s difficult not to think it will be catastrophic to fail your exams (because that just can’t happen!). You’ve already set yourself up for anxiety. But things in life are rarely so ‘binary’, with success or disaster the only two options available. Stop and ask yourself: if it doesn’t go your way, will it really be as awful as you think? Is it possible that it might be ok or even turn out better?

4. Look for the opportunity in the challenge

There are so many examples of people who’ve come through challenging situations all the better for it. If you end up with disappointing exam results, it could be the catalyst for something new, bigger and better for you. If you’re forced to change your plans, take some time to consider the benefits. Maybe that university you’d never considered is in a city with amazing music venues. Perhaps retaking an exam gives you more time to consider your options.  It could be that the bust up with your parents is a chance to say what you really want to do with your life.

And remember that…

…most of the things you worry about will never happen.

…you’ll deal with it if they do (you’re a lot more resilient that you think).

…you can’t predict the future.

…life events you think will be disastrous might actually take you in a new, brilliant, unexpected direction.

…and great exam results aren’t the only way to a happy, successful, and rewarding life.

Whatever happens, relax and enjoy the time you have now and everything you have to look forward to. You can always retake your exams; the one thing you don’t get a second chance at is being young!

For more information about CBT, emotional wellbeing, and how the AIME app can help you navigate life’s ups and downs…

Are you sleeping well? It’s more likely that you’re not getting enough sleep than you are. Around two thirds of adults get less than the recommended eight hours a night. And an estimated 1 in 10 of us are experiencing long-term insomnia.

So what exactly is ‘insomnia’? First of all, it’s important to note that it’s not the same as sleep deprivation. If you limit your opportunity to sleep, by choice or circumstance, that’s sleep deprivation. For example, if you’re staying up late to binge watch a box set, or not setting up your bedroom to be as sleep-friendly as it could be. Sleep deprivation is about habits, which can be changed. Insomnia, on the other hand, means you can’t get off to sleep – or consistently wake too early – despite your best efforts; it is never a choice and can happen for many reasons.

What’s true for both sleep deprivation and insomnia is that they will both have a negative affect on your health. From daytime drowsiness and concentration lapses to unwanted weight gain and even cancer, getting less than a good night’s sleep on a regular basis can be truly damaging. 

What does a good night’s sleep do?

It has been proven that sleep is essential to all your body’s processes, both mental and physical. Sleep boosts your immune system, helping to prevent infection. It regulates your appetite and improves gut health, helping you maintain a healthy weight. It lowers your blood pressure, helping to keep your heart healthy. When you sleep well, you also learn more effectively, make better choices, and are able to think more clearly and creatively. There’s a reason people say ‘sleep on it’ when there’s an important decision to be made or problem to solve.

What can happen when you don’t get enough sleep?

A lack of sleep can seriously damage your health. Most people know that a bad night’s sleep can affect them the next day. Feeling groggy and forgetful and finding it more difficult to concentrate are common symptoms, but they seem short-lived. In reality, continually getting less sleep than you need can have much more significant, long-term consequences.

To start with, it’s easy to overestimate your ability to function when you’re regularly getting too little sleep. Many people still drive when they’re overtired and this is a significant cause of accidents on our roads. Poor concentration and slower reaction times are common. You might find it harder to keep your emotions in check too. This can have an adverse affect on your mental wellbeing, your mood, relationships and even your performance at work.

With poor sleep, your immune system is likely to be impaired, making you more vulnerable to all kinds of chronic conditions, including some cancers, heart disease, stroke and dementia.

You might find you struggle to maintain a healthy weight. That’s because having too little sleep can result in your body producing more of the hormone that makes you feel hungry and less of the hormone that makes you feel full up after a meal. Being overweight can lead to many other health problems, including diabetes, as well as low self-esteem and other mental wellbeing issues. Too little sleep can also make you more likely to indulge in risky or addictive behaviours.

Are you getting enough sleep?

How can you tell if you’re sleep deprived? Think about when you get up in the morning. Do you feel you could you easily go back to sleep again two hours after waking? On a normal morning, do you need a strong coffee or tea before you can function properly? If the answer is yes to both, you’re almost certainly not getting enough good quality sleep.

So what can you do about it? The good news is: plenty. For many people, not getting enough sleep is easy to remedy with a few lifestyle changes. Before you do anything else, like checking yourself into an expensive sleep clinic, or asking your doctor for medication, follow the ‘sleep hygiene’ guide:

Sleep hygiene guide: tips to improve your sleeping

If you’re struggling to get enough quality sleep, consider your ‘sleep hygiene’. Are you currently giving yourself the best chance of sleep? The following are all simple things you can do to help you fall asleep easily and stay asleep for longer. Address all the following points before you do anything else. You’ll be surprised at how much you can do to improve your sleeping and how much difference it will make to your life and health when you do.

Create a comfortable bedroom

It may seem obvious, but make sure the room you sleep in is set up for the job. Your bedroom should be quiet and uncluttered, furnishings should be comfortable and soft, any smells should be pleasant, and the room should be kept cool and dark. Clean sheets make all the difference. Invest in a good quality mattress and pillows if you can.

Keep it to night time only

Do all your daytime activities in a different room or area. When you use your bedroom for watching TV, playing video games, eating or working, your mind associates the space with being awake and active, rather than relaxed and sleep-ready. Make some changes. Move your TV to another room, set up your games console or your desk elsewhere. Keep your mobile phone switched off or in a different room at night, so you’re not tempted to check your messages or log in to social media. If you use your phone as an alarm clock, stop and get yourself a real alarm clock instead.

Turn the lights down

Too much light in your bedroom can reduce the amount of melatonin your body produces by up to half. Melatonin is vital for sleep, as it signals to your body that it’s time to begin the sleep process. Limit the amount of artificial light in your bedroom after dark. Switch off your mobile phone. Or, better still, leave it in another room.

Prepare for sleep during the day

What you do during the day can make a significant difference to how well you sleep at night. First and foremost, get some regular exercise. Whether it’s a brisk walk or full aerobic workout doesn’t really matter, but it’s best to do any vigorous exercises earlier in the day. If you’re exercising closer to bedtime, de-stressing is the key. You could try yoga or pilates.

Try to get outdoors for at least 30 minutes of natural sunlight a day. Sunlight helps regulate your melatonin production, which sets and maintains your natural sleep rhythm.

Avoid daytime napping. It may seem to help you when you’ve had a bad night’s sleep, but it actually disrupts your circadian rhythm. This is the daily cycle that determines when your body wakes and sleeps. It peaks a few hours after waking, then gradually declines for the rest of the day, eventually getting to a point where you feel sleepy and need to rest before the cycle begins again.

Stick to the schedule

Routine is king when it comes to getting a good night’s sleep on a regular basis. Set a bedtime and a wake-up time. And stick to them. Even at weekends, if you can. You’ll need to get to know your natural rhythm. Chances are you already know whether you’re an owl or a lark. If you’re an owl, you’ll feel the need to stay up late and won’t function well if you get up too early in the morning. Larks are the opposite: you’re alert first thing and need to head to bed early too. Set a schedule that works for you and, after a few weeks, you’ll find you’ll naturally wake up and fall asleep at the right times.

Start a relaxing bedtime routine

Make your time before bed all about de-stressing. Taking a warm bath is a tried and tested method. As well as relaxing in itself, when you get out, your temperature will drop, helping you feel even sleepier. You could also get into the habit of meditating or self-reflection. Always avoid having large meals before bed as it can cause indigestion. Keep drinks to a minimum too, so you’re not up and down to the toilet all night.

Curb the caffeine habit

Cut back on caffeine during the day, as it can seriously disrupt your natural sleep rhythm. If you enjoy an espresso at 7pm, half the caffeine would still be fizzing round your system at 1am, keeping you very much awake. Don’t forget that caffeine is in many carbonated drinks too; it’s not just tea and coffee.

Avoid alcohol before bed

It’s a myth that a ‘night-cap’ before bed will help you sleep. Alcohol is actually a stimulant. You may seem to fall asleep quickly, but it’s likely to be a poor quality sleep that’s closer to a state of sedation. Your REM stage of sleep will be disrupted too. This important stage is when you dream, and when your brain is actively working to improve memory, mood, and other psychological benefits.

Check your medication

It’s worth checking whether any of the medicines you take could be affecting your sleep. Some cough and cold medicine and asthma medications are known to. Always consult with your doctor first.

Avoid the temptation to resort to sleeping pills too. Like alcohol, they induce a state of sedation, rather than natural sleep. You can also become addicted quickly and suffer withdrawal symptoms. Always consult an doctor before self-medicating.

Don’t just lie there

If you can’t sleep, it’s best not to lie in bed awake stressing about the fact that you can’t sleep. It simply won’t help. If you’ve not dropped off naturally after about 20 minutes of going to bed, get up and do something else. Keep the lights low and make sure it’s a relaxing activity. Just getting out of bed will lower your temperature too, which should help you feel sleepy again.

Finally, take the pressure off

Everyone needs a different amount of sleep. And it can change as you go through life. So try not to get stressed about your situation. Thinking “I simply have to get eight hours a night” is more likely to lead to anxiety and insomnia. Give yourself a break.

If you’re getting top marks for your sleep hygiene, but are still struggling with sleep deprivation or insomnia, there’s more you can do to help yourself. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a proven approach to changing ingrained habits, including those that may be holding you back from getting a good night’s sleep. The innovative wellbeing app, AIME can help you explore CBT and sleep.

There’s little doubt that the global pandemic will have an effect on mental health in the UK. Maybe for years to come. Many of us could now be at an increased risk of developing problems. Whether you’ve been hospitalised with Covid-19, have lost someone to the virus, been shielding for months on end, or you’re a healthcare worker, your mental health could suffer as a result. It’s not easy to predict just how many people will be affected, or in what ways, but the research suggests the figures will be significant. Looking at relevant past events and current trends can help us understand the potential scope and show us who is most at risk.

Being a Covid patient or healthcare worker

We have never seen a pandemic on the scale of Covid-19, but previous epidemics – such as SARS-CoV and Ebola virus – show there is always a mental heath impact for the communities affected. Rates of anxiety, depression, post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), chronic fatigue, and sleep deprivation go up, with survivors – and those who cared for them – often suffering for years afterwards.^1,2,3

With many Covid patients ending up in intensive care, we’re likely to see more trauma brought on by invasive hospital treatment. Research shows around 20% of intensive care survivors routinely experience PTSD.⁴

While those on the frontline delivering health and care services during the pandemic are at a high risk of developing anxiety and depression.⁵ It’s a stressful job anyway, but one Canadian study looking at healthcare workers during a SARS-CoV breakout, showed that ‘significant distress’ was 50% higher in those who worked with SARS-CoV patients than those that didn’t. They also suffered significantly more PTSD and burnout, with effects continuing for up to two years. ⁵

Losing a loved one

In the face of bereavement, we know that some people respond in a more complex way than the ‘normal’ mourning process. The figure is usually around 7%⁵ of people whose grief will last longer and be more severe, which may mean they require some mental health support. This figure could well be higher this year, given the additional stresses of various restrictions imposed during the pandemic. Not being able to visit your loved in their care home or hospital to say goodbye; not being able to go to the funeral or having fewer of your support network there. All of this could tip you into a grieving process you’re unable to cope with.

Keeping your distance

Protracted isolation will have affected some people more than others. For many of us the anxiety, low mood, and bouts of insomnia will pass. For others it won’t be so easy. We know that social distancing and lockdown measures may have put those at risk of domestic violence or child abuse in greater danger. And that suffering abuse can go on to cause eating disorders, depression, suicide and other mental health issues.⁶

Those with serious, ongoing health issues are already at greater risk from Covid and are having to shield for longer, while the rest of us begin to return to ‘normal life’. In itself this could cause additional stress. We also know that people with physical ill health are more likely to have mental health problems. Around 30% of people in the UK who have a long-term condition also have a mental health problem.⁷ For example, if you have diabetes, you’re two to three times more likely to experience depression than others. ⁷

Losing your income

What happens to the UK and global economy post-Covid has a huge role to play. Studies on the mental health fall-out of the 2008 recession suggests the economic impact alone could trigger problems for half a million people, if the pandemic causes a similar crash.⁸

The prospects look bleak. According to the International Labour Organisation, the pandemic could lead to as many as half the world’s workers losing their jobs⁹. Unemployment, reduced income, housing issues – all are known causes of mental distress¹⁰. To compound the issue, high levels of government debt means there will be less funding available for mental health services.

Getting help

You’re more likely to experience mental ill health as a result of Covid 19 if you’re poor, unemployed, from an ethnic minority background, or if you have an existing physical or mental health condition. In other words: the very people who already have little or no access to mental healthcare will be the ones most in need of it.

Even now, if you need support, your choices are limited. You can wait for an NHS counsellor or psychologist to become available or pay for expensive private therapy (which, of course, may not be a option). Post-Covid, there’s likely to be increased demand, as well as fewer services on offer. So what can you do?

Positive solutions

Innovative mobile phone apps, like AIME, can plug the gap, providing vital access to mental health support. Whether used in place of, or alongside, traditional therapy sessions, wellbeing apps can help people manage anxiety and overcome depression and other issues, using a range of tools, listening and advice.

The AIME app gives you free, instant access to proven strategies that help you cope day-to-day and improve your emotional wellbeing. Offering personalised and holistic advice, AIME is here for you whenever you need to talk. It will also point you in the right direction if you need extra support. All guidance is backed by evidence-based science and led by professional CBT therapists.